


the weird ways we save the world

by MyDestinyIsWritten



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: BAMF Peter Parker, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), F/M, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Tony Stark Acting as Harley Keener's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, denefestrating canon as per the norm, i just found a promt and rolled with it, idk if that actually counts as BAMF Peter but its finee
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 09:00:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29731479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyDestinyIsWritten/pseuds/MyDestinyIsWritten
Summary: He’s dreaming, he has to be.  There is absolutely no way this is real-life because Peter fricking Parker, is standing right over Thanos holding a frying pan.A goddamn frying pan.or Peter doesn't know how he did it, but he kinda saved the universe with a cast-iron skilletor tired writer found a fic prompt on tumblr and just rolled with it
Relationships: Bruce Banner & Clint Barton & Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov & Tony Stark & Thor, Harley Keener & Peter Parker, May Parker (Spider-Man) & Peter Parker, Natasha Romanov (Marvel) & Everyone, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Natasha Romanov, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 18
Kudos: 222





	the weird ways we save the world

_ Carol is incredible _ . 

She’d given them a pretty good boot-up and Tony was pretty sure the gauntlet was flying around in the battle somewhere. Somebody better hurry up and grab the thing before Thanos gets his hold on it,  _ again _ .

Tony grunts as he pushes the debris off of him, getting up just in time to blast another enemy to the ground.

“FRIDAY, where’d the kid go?”, he asks, he’s not really expecting FRIDAY to respond, it was mostly just to remind himself that Peter wasn’t a hallucination and look, it’s not his fault he’s determined not to let the kid too far out of his sight. With Peter’s weird magnetic attachment to almost getting himself killed every 5 seconds, it’s a valid concern.

“I don’t have a current location but his vitals are mostly stable, boss”

He’s slammed on his back abruptly as the alien he was fighting dies and it’s dead body falls onto him. Tony shoves them off and is instantly up on his feet again, running to intercept Thanos as he tries to grab the gauntlet off the ground where it had fallen.

He manages to jump onto Thanos’s back before being flung forward, this time he sees stars when his head hits the ground, he groans. He has got to stop landing on his back, the bruises are gonna be terrible later.

Tony’s elbows dig into the ground and he pushes himself up, seeing Thor and Steve hit the ground. He’s too far away from them now and they  _ need _ to get the stones away before he can use them again.

Grimacing, he runs and goes over the rushed-plan he’d just come up with, this was it. If he didn’t do this, all this effort, this second-chance would all go to waste and that couldn’t happen.

Everyone was on their last leg, there was only a little bit of time left or they were going to lose  _ again _ .

He’s still a good distance away and Thanos is just about to snap, hand raising up and stones at his disposal, oh  _ no _ , they were so  _ close _ . This can’t be it, not when everything was finally looking up.

Swallowing down the nausea he diverts all power to the thrusters, there’s a good chance he won’t make it in time, but hell if he doesn’t try. 

Until Thanos falls forward and face-plants the floor, dust billowing up from where he fell, Tony comes to a stuttering stop.

_ Oh. my. god. _

He’s dreaming, he has to be. There is absolutely no way this is real-life because Peter fricking Parker, is standing right over Thanos holding a frying pan.

A _goddamn_ _frying_ _pan_.

“Holy  _ shit _ , I did  _ not _ think that would work.”, Peter says, turning over the pan in his hand, “That explains why Rapunzel is such a badass.” He looks down at Thanos, “Oh shoot, I think I might have  _ brained _ him”, he sounds panicked.

It takes a moment for Tony’s brain to catch onto what’s going on but Thanos looks  _ dead _ and did a cast-iron  _ skillet _ just take him out??

There are still more aliens but slowly, everyone’s coming to their senses about what just happened. Everyone in the near-vicinity is now focusing on Peter and the limp body lying in front of him, jaws resting heavily on the floor. 

Tony blinks, frozen, as Steve looks over at him in shock.

“Is he dead??” Peter’s worried voice drifts through the astonished atmosphere and Tony makes a move towards him.

He grips Peter’s forearm and pulls him a couple feet back, twisting him into his side.

“You are crazy, kiddo” he whispers.

“I just found it over there”, Peter gestures vaguely towards a pile of wreckage before his arm falls limp against his side, “Wow, this was exhausting”

The noise of the yelling and clashing has pretty much died down at this point and Tony looks up and sees everyone smiling in a funny sort of way, probably trying to figure out what just happened but amused nonetheless.

Still pulling Peter by his arm, he grabs Pepper as she stumbles towards him and wraps her in a hug, too, contented to take full advantage of this moment.

He breathes in the feeling of them both pressed against him and ignores the harsh scent of metal and copper around him.

He stands there for another long moment before turning to Thor who’s grinning at him, “The pan has become the most prominent weapon in this battle” he laughs.

Tony huffs out a harsh laugh too, feeling a little out of breath.

Then turning to Steve, “Is everyone alright?”

“We’re still getting a head count but it could be a lot worse and Strange already got Thanos taken care of, he’s gone, for good this time.”, Steve smiles warily at Peter, “Nice job, Queens”

Peter blushes and looks bashful as Tony pulls him into his side again and presses another kiss to his head.

“FRI, what’s the closest building we can get some medical supplies and food at?”, Tony asks. There were still plenty of people injured and everyone needed to recuperate and get out of battle-mode before anything else.

-

Most of the rooms were already filled with people in recovery and the hallways of the building were filled with the tears and hugs of everyone finding their friends and celebrating.

Peter’s using a phone to call May and he nearly cries in relief when she picks up. He immediately starts telling her that Tony’s sending a jet over so she can meet him here.

Hanging up with a relieved sigh he looks at Tony where he’s leaning in the doorway, “Frying pans are now the only weapon I’ll accept” he laughs.

Tony snorts and hangs his head in disbelief, “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure Stark Industries starts rolling out the skillet ads for weaponry, the news’’ll have a fit. Just imagine the headlines, ‘angry wife beats the shit out of spouse with a frying pan’, it’ll be revolutionary, ushering in a new era of intelligence” Tony says, exaggeratedly, waving a hand. 

Peter snicker is cut off as someone barrels into him, “Parker, you crazy bastard”

“Harley, oh my gosh” Peter hugs him tighter and Harley speaks again, “ _ Only you _ , only you could take our Earth’s mortal enemy with a kitchen accessory.” Harley grips his shirt, “You’re insane. If you hadn’t just saved the entire universe I’d be teasing you into an early grave right about now”

Peter’s giddy as he pulls away, “I know” he laughs, “How are your mom and sister?”

“They’re good, I just got off the phone with them. Did you know Abby is older than me now? It’s really weird”. They’re both still holding each other at an arm’s length, taking everything in.

Tony comes up behind them and they all fall onto a couch, “You know I have a daughter now? Her name’s Morgan and I’m actually kind of scared to put her near you two because I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep soundly now that there are mischievous kids sneaking around everywhere. Anyway, you guys are going to love her” Tony grins, glad he’d got that all out in one breath.

Peter and Harley are looking at him in surprise now, “Oh wow, that is so awesome” Peter breathes.

Harley sniggered, “We are so going to corrupt her, but if she’s anything like you, she’s probably already too far gone”.

Tony sighs, bringing them both closer on either side, “You know, as long as you don’t burn the house down, it’ll be fine,” then he looks offended, “And I’ll have you know I’m a very good role model”

Harley groans, “You ruined our moment, Stark and I’m sorry, but have you met yourself?”

Tony doesn’t have time to reply because Clint barrels in, “Something’s happening” he says, eyebrows tight.

There's already a small gathering of people outside as Tony pushes through to meet with Bruce at the front, “What’s going on?” he asks, glancing worriedly at the bright blue, swirling portal ahead of them.

“We don’t know, it just appeared a couple of minutes ago” Bruce replied, eyes fixed on the anomaly.

There’s the shadow of someone walking out the portal and everyone fixes their stance, arms up in defense as the bright light pulses.

“...Natasha?” Clint’s shaky voice breaks through the silence before he drops everything and is rushing at her, lifting her up into the air in his excitement. 

Clint puts her down, hand on her bicep, “I- but how? You-” He stammers before just saying, “Never,  _ ever, _ do that again”

Natasha barely nods at Clint before looking over, trying to catch everyone else’s eyes. Everyone stands shocked for a second before they’re broken out of their stupor and Steve, Thor, Bruce, and Tony are all rushing over to her to join Clint in squeezing the life out of her.

“But how did you do it?” Thor asks, voice muffled. She laughs, a sound that Tony hadn’t realized he’d missed, oh my god, what would they have done without her?

“I have my ways” she smirks, “I heard my little spider took Thanos out with a frypan”

She pins her gaze on Peter who’s still looking at her in fascination from the sidelines,he instantly runs over to her and clutches her shoulders tightly as she pulls him in an embrace, “Hi, Nat”, he whispers into her shoulders.

“It’s good to have you back, Tasha”

“Good to be back, Steve”

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, thank you for reading and i really hope you liked it. Thank you to my friend @unoffical-marvel on tumblr for beta-ing it(she's awesome, you should totally go check her blog out because she's funny and her incorrect quotes are literally the best)! 
> 
> This is also based on this post on tumblr that i found (https://irondadprompts.tumblr.com/post/170369581239/everyone-is-fighting-thanos-hes-on-his-last-leg) and if you did like it, i'd really like some comments, thanks again! :D


End file.
